How was Mother’s Day for you? For me, it started with the bickering downstairs as my husband and daughter tried to make a special pancake breakfast. Then it continued with arguing over how I would best enjoy my day – they both had very different ideas! They were both trying so hard to make it the ‘best day ever’ that it led to our usual relaxed Sunday morning turning into a very stressful experience!
Nobody was being authentic! This wasn’t how Sunday morning usually worked in our house. Everybody was trying too hard. As I pondered on this, it occurred to me that this can happen in our work life too. When I first started coaching, on occasion, I tried so hard to be the perfect coach that the session did not go so well. Rather than being authentic and true to my coaching values and ethos, I gave advice and put my opinions forward. I was so desperate for the client to get a result that it overrode the fact that it should be the right result.
Since then, I have seen other clients do the same thing. Trying so hard to get it exactly right that they have lost the sense of self that made the client want to hire them in the first place. Obviously, a company needs to try hard to meet the client’s needs and deliver a good product or service but, by trying too hard, you can devalue the very thing that makes you special.
So, back to Mother’s Day! After a difficult morning, everyone settled down and the afternoon was spent doing things we all love to do and ended by snuggling on the sofa. By not trying to hard, I genuinely felt the love and it was my favourite part of the day. No one was trying to be the perfect husband or the perfect child – we all were just who we truly are. It was special – remember that when you start trying too hard!
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